As you’ve probably figured out, parenting is both the most rewarding and frustrating endeavor you’ll ever undertake in life.
Many people refer to it as a “job,” especially for stay at home moms and dads, but the pay is zero (in fact it costs more than you’ll seemingly ever have!), and there is no option to quit, ever.
Parenting is an adventure like no other. The most incredible highs in your life, and the most painful lows usually come from your experience as a parent.
We all have days when we feel as if we’ve completely failed at being a mom. When we’re thankful that it’s not a job, because we would certainly be fired.
Some days we can laugh it off, but sometimes it becomes more serious, and we question whether our parenting choices are harming our kids.
When you do have those serious “bad mom” days, it’s important to work yourself out of them. If you don’t, things tend to snowball and you start doubting all your parenting choices.
This is bad for you, and for your children.
The good news is, “bad mom” syndrome is all in your head, so with a little shift in mindset, you can get through it.
Being Conscious is Half the Battle
One of the funny things about being a mom is if you think you’re doing a bad job at it, you probably aren’t!
The fact that you are thinking about the choices you make and how you parent, in itself, goes a long way towards making you a good mom.
So when you have those thoughts of, “Should I have done that? I’m a bad mom!” just immediately turn it around in your head.
Remind yourself that the fact that you are consciously trying to do the right things and make the right decisions when it comes to parenting, means you are on the right track.
Trust Your Gut
Chances are, you will screw it up now and again. We aren’t striving for perfection here.
Relax, both you and your child will survive your bad moves, and you always have a chance to course correct. (Remember, you can’t be fired from this gig.)
The best playbook you have for parenting is your gut. There’s a reason we’ve all heard the saying “trust your gut.” In parenting, your gut should be your bible.
When you became a parent, one of the unseen things that came with your little bundle of joy was an innate sense of what’s right and wrong for your child.
The problem is, too many moms don’t use this gift. They look for some external answer. But if you’ll just sit and let yourself “feel things out” you’ll come to a conclusion you can trust.
With practice, you’ll never feel like a bad mom when you’ve made a gut-based decision.
Remember You Don’t See the B Roll
The reason many of us have trouble trusting our gut is that we look too much at what other people are doing.
This has become a real problem since everyone started living their lives on social media. Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest . . . they’re all filled with everyone’s perfect mom moments.
But remember, what you see on social media, and the stories you hear moms tell is the highlight reel of their lives.
The real stuff is the b roll, that’s the stuff that’s left behind on the cutting room floor because it’s not good enough for the world to see.
Never judge your decisions or your worthiness as a parent by comparing yourself to someone else. I guarantee you, many of those people you’d deem to be “better moms” than you have b roll footage that would make you feel like Mary Poppins.
Connect with Those Who Do Show the B Roll
To keep from judging your parenting skills based on what others show off, it’s important to connect with like-minded moms who will show you their b roll.
A few close mom friends, or even just one, can keep you grounded and rational on the really tough parenting days.
There are many different parenting styles and beliefs, so you’ll have to do a little searching and make sure you connect with like-minded moms, but they are out there!
Facebook groups and local moms groups are a great way to start meeting people that can turn into your b roll buddies.
Revisit Your Successes
When you are having a bad day, and thinking that no matter what anyone says, you may just be the worst mom alive, revisit your parenting successes.
Write them down. Make a list of 25 things you’ve done right in your life as a mom.
And don’t be too hard on yourself. Making them breakfast rather than shoving them out the door with a snickers bar in hand is a success!
And if you’ll sit down and take just 10 minutes to write out the good stuff, it will help put your bad day in perspective.
KidsPartyCharacters.com can help add to your list of successes, too! When you book your child’s next party with us, you’ll get her choice of over 200 characters to come as her special party guest, along with packages that include face painting, balloon artistry, and more.
And, connect with us on Facebook to keep up with all the magic we’re bringing to children’s parties each week, and to gather ideas and inspirations for your next event.